Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
