nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize