So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
