he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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