One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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