Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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