I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize
