9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
