Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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