You really coming over, don't trick.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
