winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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