4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
