does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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