i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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