I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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