Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
