I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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