We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
