I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize