You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
