how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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