Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
