i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
