I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
