:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
