her vagine was all disorganized.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
