Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
