Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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