I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
