I wish i was in the wii world.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
