i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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