Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
