All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
