Michael Bay diarrhea
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
