Me too!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
