Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
