our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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