I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
