My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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