Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
