winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm really busy with my period
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