she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Randomize
