I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
