is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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