Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
