ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
