Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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