if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
