maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
