You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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