he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
