somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
