so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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