Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie

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(913): View more from Kansas

he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.

(410): View more from Maryland

Sounds like a normal friday night

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(973): View more from New Jersey

She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?

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(941): View more from Florida

You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila

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(360): View more from Washington

I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.

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