they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
