my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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