why didn't you poke me back
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
