Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
